Letting Go Of Self

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Circularity

It is helpful to understand that when a disturbance is built in at a deep level, there is no part of you that is free of the effect of the disturbance. This means that when there are problems from the disturbance, the part of you that tries to fix things up is already part of the problem.

Pop-up 1: 'With a disturbance at the deep level"

Pop-up 2: ''Without a disturbance at the deep level"

There may be periods when things go reasonably well, but it is typical of these kinds of problems that they recur or remain active to a greater or lesser degree, until recovery through a self help process is established. You may have already experienced this.

This is because in all of us, the ordinary conscious parts of our personalities and our familiar sense of self ('I') are built on top of deeper parts that we are not aware of.

Pop-up 3: ''Conscious parts built on top of deeper parts"

So if you have a disorder such as an addiction, the core of the disorder is built into you at the deeper level in ways you are not aware of and affects you at the conscious level, also in ways you are not aware of.

If you are in recovery from an addiction, you can probably still recall the sense of ‘I’ that was in control when you were actively addicted.

If you are in recovery from an addiction

• Recall the sense of ‘I’ that was in control when you were actively addicted.
• Let yourself reflect back to how ‘I’ was before recovery; recall the feel of 'I' from those days.  
• 'I do what I want’; I know best’

If you are actively addicted

• Can you feel the part of you that is in control, the part of you that chooses to, take the first drink, hit, bet etc., or the part that refuses to seek help, or doesn't use help when it's available.

If you suffer from anxiety/depression from neglect in childhood or later

• You can have periods where you try very hard to ignore your chronic anxiety or negativity; or to fight off your depression, and push on regardless. You may have functioned successfully through a 'strong self' (the 'strong self' develops to counteract deeper negativities from the difficult childhood, so the strong self often has an uneasy base) for a long time.  See if you can connect with that 'strong self'
• You may also be able to feel the part of you that is negative

These are just some of the many different patterns of disturbance that require change at a deep level.

If you have experienced any of these, you can probably see that the part of you that was trying so hard to control it, was already in the grip of it. When this happens people usually end up in an endless battle with themselves, which makes things worse.

"So people with these problems are negatively or destructively trapped in their own self"

It may seem that this circularity makes a self help process impossible; if “I” am part of the problem. How can “I” run my own self help process? It is the recognising of this circularity of self, and accepting that '”I” can't fix me', rather than fighting it, that is the beginning of a new direction.

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