Chapter 1. The Family Disease Alcoholism, addiction and the family
What are alcoholism and drug addiction - Recovery from alcoholism and drug addiction - What this book will do for you - The concept of self - Self image and alcoholism -How alcoholism and addiction affect you - There is hope -Focus on you - Looking at attitudes -Isolation and its effects - Common attitudes towards addiction - The struggle All too much - Determined to cope - Open-mindedness - Emotional blindspots - Alcoholism, addiction and you
Chapter 2. What is Addicton?
Alcoholism and other major addictions -'I don't understand it - Your beliefs affect your behaviour - What is alcoholism?- When self takes over - Genetic factors - Different patterns - Denial and self-deception - Is the alcoholic responsible for recovery? - Your relationship with the alcoholic- Recovery from alcoholism
Chapter 3. Heroin, Sedatives and Other Addictions
The heroin epidemic - Attitudes to heroin addiction - The addictive process of heroin - Help for heroin addiction - Sedative addiction - Gambling addiction - Cross-addiction
Chapter 4. Recovery - The First Step Beginning to change your attitude
Seeing and accepting - Knowing, but not understanding - Using ideas - How the inner world of self develops - How self images develops - Self image and reality - The relationship with the addicted person - Common patterns - Letting go - The actual you - a person - Values- How to practise acceptance
Chapter 5. How Feelings Influence You
How feelings work in our lives - How you feel - Understanding is only part of the answer - Putting understanding into action - Can you choose feelings? - Everyone has feelings - What feelings are - A feeling is a package - How feelings disrupt the way you function and behave - Why you need to learn to manage your feelings
Chapter 6. Feelings and How to Manage Them
You can manage your feelings - Accepting feelings- What is acceptance? - Recognising feelings - It's only part of you - Feelings aren't facts - Appropriate behaviour - Expressing your feelings appropriately - Your feelings in perspective- Feel your feelings - Letting of feelings and self images - Letting go of your 'control self' - Defects of character - Uncontrollable feelings - Professional help - Feelings and moods - Feeling nothing - Just a mess - Change
Chapter 7. Recovery from Alcoholism
Addiction - not a temporary aberration - Getting through - Understanding what's wrong - The disease concept - Self and recovery - What happens in recovery - How recovery occurs - Prerequisites for treatment - Your recovery program
Chapter 8. How You Can Help Facilitate Recovery
How you help the addicted person - How to facilitate recovery - The realities of the situation - Strategies that can result in recovery - Strategies that won't result in recovery - Your attitude to the addicted person - Detachment - Telling the addicted person about recovery programs - Communicating with the addicted person - Not accepting unacceptable behaviour - Al-Anon and Nar-Anon- Dealing with Recovery - Learning to be part of reality - A disorder person - Recovery long-term
Chapter 9. Separation
Why you need to think about separation - Anxiety and guilt about separation - Practical reasons for separation - Separation and recovery - An unrecovered person cannot relate normally - How relationships work - Relating through self - Self-centred relationships - The addicted relationship - Can a relationship with an addicted person last? - How to overcome fear of separation - Looking at the practicalities Traps - Values - Making a decision - Accepting and letting go
Chapter 10. The Things You Want
Feelings of wanting - Why wanting is an issue - Wanting in an addicted relationship - Wanting and image - How feelings of wanting develop - The basis of wanting - NO choice - Alcoholism and wanting - How wanting limits you - The process of letting go - What you actually want - Accepting your wanting feelings - Fitting in with the way things are - Handing over - Letting go of the wanting feeling - Action - Letting go works - Persisting - Checklist
Chapter 11. Understanding Self Honesty
Self honesty and recovery - Reactions to self deception - Self deception is a natural process - Self deception in an addicted relationship - How self deception works - Self deception and defensiveness - Common self deceptions - Self deceptions and addiction - Will and self deception - Denial - Practising self honesty - Acknowledging self deception - Indicators of self deception - Self honesty and feelings - Self honesty as a process - Communication as part of self honesty
Chapter 12. Framework for Living
Spirituality in AA and Al-Anon - Self: the core program of addiction - Self and modern psychology - Letting go - The process of change - Can self change self? - Handling over - Powerlessness - The idea of surrender - Can you know yourself? - Acceptance - How acceptance works - Acceptance and recovery - Practising these principles